When I was a young girl, my parents did not allow pets but I loved them. I was able to have fish which I got to eat from my hand and come to the top of the bowl to receive petting (R.I..P. Mo-Mo). I would leaf endlessly through classified ads looking for the right pet for me. Something to train. Something to cuddle with. My mother was afraid of dogs. My father didn't like cats. Mice, rats, hamsters and guinea pigs were out of the question because my parents didn't want rodents in the house. I tried to get a kangaroo in the classifieds section of the newspaper but that was a no go too. My closest attempt was a Llama believe it or not but my parents said zoning ordinances prevented that from occurring (even though we had neighbors that had horses).
My parents finally let me take horse back riding lessons when I was in grade school which lasted for several years. I'm sure they thought it would stop my relentless quest to acquire a pet. This was my first attempt to get an animal to do what I wanted and I wasn't good at it. I was appalled when my horse back riding instructor told me that I had to hit the horse with my feet and my crop. I remember riding one old black horse whose mouth would foam from being aggravated by the bit. After those lessons, I would untack her and brush her and tell her how sorry I was that I made her mouth do that. My first attempts at riding off a lunge line was on a "stubborn" appaloosa named Rusty who ran me into the phone booth in the stable. The instructor said I wasn't using enough force. I didn't like pulling on the horses mouth. I didn't like kicking the horse. I didn't like hitting the horse with my crop. But I was young and was instructed to do as told by someone who was much more experienced than me about this subject. And it was true. Back then, there was no clicker training for horses. There was no horse whispering. This is the way it was done. But I viewed the relationship between me and the horse as one of mutual respect and trust. I thought we should be a well oiled machine, anticipating each other's next move and responding accordingly. The reality of the situation was that there was very little I could do to develop a relationship with a horse that saw me once a week. Even at ten, I understood that.
How does this relate to dog training?
I still view my relationship with animals the same way but it's easy for me to understand when others do things to their dogs that I wouldn't recommend. Some other professional may have told you it's the right way and in a desperate attempt to understand your furry friend, you listened. You may have listened to the guy on TV that said that you need to be the pack leader (even though science states that is not true). But remember if something inside you tells you that something isn't right, question it. If the response doesn't sound right, fact check them. There are some rather benign things that clients tend to reject like crate training, head halters and muzzling but there are some recommendations that you may hear from others that may hurt your dog like choke chains, shock collars and alpha rolls. These items can put you in danger too! Especially if you are dealing with an aggression issue.
So think critically about the techniques you use to train your dog and decide if you want a harmonious relationship with joyfulness on both ends of the leash.
